Scottish Inventiveness

A typical Englishman finishes his breakfast of toast and marmalade invented by Mrs Keller of Dundee, Scotland, and slipsinto his raincoat, patented by Charles Mackintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. He then walks to his office along an Enlgish - tarmac surfaced - lane, invented by John Loudon MacAdam of Ayr, Scotland. Or he arrives in his car, which is fitted with pneumatic tyres patnented by John Boyd Dunlop, of Dreghorn, Scotland.
Before he had a car he used to travel by train, which was powered by a steam engine, invented by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland.
In his office he deals with the mail bearing adhesice stamps invented by John Chalmers of Dundee, Scotland, and makes frequent use of the telephone, invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening, he dines on his favourite Roast beef from Aberdeen Angus, raised in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. He then watches some televisionan invention of Scotsman John Logie Baird, of Helensbourgh, Scotland - about John Paul Jones, father of the United States navy, born in Kirkbean, Scotland. The Englishman's son prefers to read Treasure Island, written by famous Scottish author, Robert Louis Stevenson, from Edinburgh, Scotland. Whilst his daughter prefers to play in the garden with her bicycle, invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, of Thornhill, Scotland.

It is impossible for an Englishman to escape the ingenuity of the Scots!

In desperation he turns to the bible only to find that the first person metioned is a Scotsman king James V1, who authorized the translation.
He could - of course - turn to drink, but Scotland makes the finest whiskey in the world.
At the end of his tether he uplifts a rifle to end it all, but Captain Patrick Feguson, of Pitfours, Scotland invented the Breech-loading-rifle!
If the Englishman escapes death by the rifle, he would find himself being injected with penicillin
discovered by Scottish Bacteriologist, Sir Alexander Fleming, of Darvel, Scotland - or he might be given Chloroform, am anaesthetic first used by Sir James Young Simpson, of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic, the Englishman's mood would not be improved if the doctor told him that his condition was as safe as the bank of England, which was founded by William Paterson, of Dumfries, Scotland.

Perhaps in order to get some peace, he could request a transfusion o guid Scottish blood so that he to could be entitled to ask

I'm trying toconvince Gerri that Scotland invented Holland, but with little success.

What she never tiires of telling me though is that it was the Scottish Regiments that freed the Dutch from the Nazis.

As I say to her, you'll very rarely get an Englishman in the front line.

Aren't we just a clever wee nation eh? Magic! :-)

Dunlop's patent was invalidated because of prior art; someone else was years ahead of him. It was another Scot, Robert William Thomson.

The original post was, of course adapted from tea towels and postcards available in any tourist shop but there's a lot of truth in it. Even when we get up, one of the first things we do is brush our teeth with a toothbrush, invented by James Gibb of Falkirk, 1746. We watch TV, travel in vehicles with pneumatic tyres along tarmacadam roads, use the telephone, etc, etc.

Yet there's more. On the TV, you'll ocassionally see that symbol of all things English, Tower Bridge in London. There's not many people aware, however, that the engines which currently lift the bascules on Tower Bridge were developed and built by McTaggart-Scott of Loanhead, Scotland.

The man who developed the steam locomotive to the point that it kicked off the railway revolution, George Stephenson, had served his apprenticeship under James Watt. Watt himself developed Boulton's steam engine to make it reciprocating and thereby kick-started the industrial revolution. George Stephenson was semi-literate and was determined that his son, Robert, was going to have the best education available, so he sent him to what was then the finest seat of learning in Europe - Edinburgh University. That university has seen many famous men pass through it's doors, including Charles Darwin, the man accredited as being the father of evolutionary theory. Yet almost 20 years before Darwin set foot on The Beagle, tree hybridiser Patrick Matthew of Gowrie (between Perth and Dundee) coined the phrase "natural selection" for the first time in his book On Naval Timber and Arboriculture.

To my mind the greatest human being of all time was Alexander Fleming, because his (re) discovery of penicillin has saved, continues to save and will save countless lives. I would consider him the greatest whatever his nationality. It's just a happy coincidence that he was a Scot.

We did invent the world, but I believe God is challenging that one..

The Garden o' Eden wis made here on Earth,
And it's north o' the Tweed we believe;
Aye, auld Scotland's the place and the hale human race,
Sterted oot wi MacAdam and Eve.

In six days, no' under,
He made every wonder;
Except for the Forth and Tay Bridges;
Then ayeweys a bloke for a practical joke,
He made Scotland the hame o' the midges.

(Alastair MacDonald, "The Midges")

quickfind:alan1hogan > "makes frequent use of the telephone, invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland."

Well... here's the thing, does anybody really invent anything?

Sharing this man's surname, I know a bit about him... and Bell invented many things, but did he invent the telephone?

See here for stuff on AGB ->
quickfind:1235

Italian-Americans will tell you a guy called Meucci invented the telephone a year before Bell, and other people will tell you a man called Elisha Grey invented it. Did they all invent it? Did one of them pinch from one of the others? Or were they thinking in parallel?

The same thing with the television. Scots think of Logie Baird inventing the telly, but there's a guy called Philo Farmsworth (sp?), and at least two Russians who had a hand too.

A websearch brings this up

http://www.loc.gov/rr/scitech/mysteries/telephone.html

"There is a lot of controversy and intrigue surrounding the invention of the telephone. There have been court cases, books, and articles generated about the subject. Of course, Alexander Graham Bell is the father of the telephone. After all it was his design that was first patented, however, he was not the first inventor to come up with the idea of a telephone.

Antonio Meucci, an Italian immigrant, began developing the design of a talking telegraph or telephone in 1849. In 1871, he filed a caveat (an announcement of an invention) for his design of a talking telegraph. Due to hardships, Meucci could not renew his caveat. His role in the invention of the telephone was overlooked until the United States House of Representatives passed a Resolution on June 11, 2002, honoring Meucci's contributions and work (To read the report search Thomas Legislation, Bill summary and Status, 107th Congress, H Res 269 ).

To make matters even more interesting Elisha Gray, a professor at Oberlin College, applied for a caveat of the telephone on the same day Bell applied for his patent of the telephone. In Historical First Patents: The First United States Patent for Many Everyday Things (Scarecrow Press, 1994), Travis Brown, reports that Bell got to the patent office first. The date was February 14, 1876 . He was the fifth entry of that day, while Gray was 39th. Therefore, the U.S. Patent Office awarded Bell with the first patent for a telephone, US Patent Number 174,465 rather than honor Gray's caveat.

So, if someone asks who is credited with inventing the telephone, you can explain the controversy that still surrounds this question. The answer is Bell, but be sure to mention Meucci and Gray, because they played important roles in its development."

http://inventors.about.com/od/tstartinventions/a/Television_Time.htm

Here's one of the better answers, to this problem -
"Television was not invented by a single inventor, instead many people working together and alone over the years, contributed to the evolution of television."

Alexander Graham Bell also had a hand in the development of the hydrofoil, and aeroplane. His plane design was much better than the Wright brothers...

good god almighty.

The first two posters in this thread are great examples of everything thats wrong with this country.

Mcnavel gazing numpties.

You are really Brick Tambland, and I claim my prize.

By the way, Mac is more common than Mc in Scotland...

My mum was one of the first people to receive penicillin back
in 1943, when she was two years old suffering from
meningitis. So it's thanks to Mr Fleming and his reluctance to do the washing up, that I'm here at all.

When God finished creating Scotland, he called over St. Peter and said "Pete, look what I just did".... "this is my crowning glory on earth"...... "lush green fields in the south, stark wonderful mountains in the north, a wonderous bounty called Haggis and my favorite drink, Whisky".....

St Peter looks down and says "Gee Boss... that's great, but don't you think you have spoiled them?"

"ah'" says God..... "you haven't met their neighbors yet"....

Oh dear, another one I've heard so many times...