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Duties Of Wives!

Postings on this topic in our 'Fun: Jokes' chat forum

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Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Tue 07/07/09 18:25

Duties of Wives!

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.


Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.


Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.


The third man had married a British girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a handyman.


God Bless British Women

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Re: Duties of Wives!
from Alysen C: Oi! Scotster makes the world go round... (alysen) photos on Tue 07/07/09 22:19

hey! By hellfire and brimstone he'd be shoveling snow to fill up Hudson's Bay instead of a wee black eye from this Canadian. Just kidding boys - you'd be shoveling it from Inuktitut to Leningrad. : ))

Re: Duties of Wives!
from John Paul S: Ex-Member (deleted:braveheartjp) on Wed 08/07/09 17:09

Go an git the dishes done Alysen hurry up an where ma dinner ? (hehe)

Re: Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Wed 08/07/09 17:14

If you're not wearing your dinner, John Paul, you soon will be!

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Re: Duties of Wives!
from Alysen C: Oi! Scotster makes the world go round... (alysen) photos on Wed 08/07/09 19:28

Git yir arse over here John Paul! The wee shovel awaits ye.

Re: Duties of Wives!
from B S: BYE (highlands.styks) member on Wed 08/07/09 20:47

I'd add something, but on reflection -- don't need the black eye or chased with a shovel. LOL

Re: Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Wed 08/07/09 23:11

Wise move, Brian.

Re: Duties of Wives!
from Alysen C: Oi! Scotster makes the world go round... (alysen) photos on Thu 09/07/09 07:07

aye, he's a smart man ;)

Re: Duties of Wives!
from John Paul S: Ex-Member (deleted:braveheartjp) on Thu 09/07/09 10:07

Better get ma body armour on eh !!
We can't live without you !!! lol

Re: Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Thu 09/07/09 12:29

Ha, ha, ha... You got it. Hiding behind a bit of tin foil is one thing, but it's the good intent that keep yer safe!

Re: Duties of Wives!
from John Paul S: Ex-Member (deleted:braveheartjp) on Thu 09/07/09 12:54

quickfind:jolly_jj > "Ha, ha, ha... You got it. Hiding behind a bit of tin foil is one thing, but it's the good intent that keep yer safe!"

Think a'll keep the body armour on.. just in case you get any ideas !!

Re: Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Thu 09/07/09 13:10

Heaven forbid... A writer with ideas! Which reminds me... must go and do some work, now.

Re: Duties of Wives!
from Alysen C: Oi! Scotster makes the world go round... (alysen) photos on Thu 09/07/09 15:54

quickfind:jolly_jj > "Heaven forbid... A writer with ideas!"

LOL OMG you're one of those people! A word-bandier, that means we're in good company.

Look out boys you're in for a bumpy ride YEEEEEEHAWWWWW

Re: Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:04

Yup! got me sussed, Alysen. Living life in the fast lane, these days!

Re: Duties of Wives!
from Alysen C: Oi! Scotster makes the world go round... (alysen) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:09

JJ is making that keyboard dance.

Re: Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:10

Already broken it once during the warranty period!

Re: Duties of Wives!
from Alysen C: Oi! Scotster makes the world go round... (alysen) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:16

LOL they just don't make things like they use to. Did you ever use a typewriter built in 1910? Break your finger tips before you do the keys.

Re: Duties of Wives!
from John Paul S: Ex-Member (deleted:braveheartjp) on Thu 09/07/09 16:21

Are you ladies finished yet ?

Re: Duties of Wives!
from Alysen C: Oi! Scotster makes the world go round... (alysen) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:26

Why are you asking us? The question is: HAVE YOU FINISHED SHOVELING YET?

Re: Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:33

quickfind:alysen > "Did you ever use a typewriter built in 1910? Break your finger tips before you do the keys."

EXCUSE ME! That sort of reminder does nae help my mid life crisis, ye ken!

We'll let you know when we're finished, John Paul. Pop the kettle on and make yerself useful, now.

Re: Duties of Wives!
from Alysen C: Oi! Scotster makes the world go round... (alysen) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:35

lol ahh JJ the thing about age is that someone is always older than you.

The nerve of John Paul interrupting us like that... we need to teach the lad some manners.

Re: Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:39

Trouble is that most people who think they're older than me are invariably younger. I seem to have retained my youthful qualities without the need for surgery.

Credit where credit's due. At least John Paul asked if we'd finished yet!

Re: Duties of Wives!
from Alysen C: Oi! Scotster makes the world go round... (alysen) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:45

True enough, you're forgiven John Paul. This time anyway.

Yes, age is a matter of the mind: A youthful outlook retains the vibrancy of youth on the cheeks. It's the use of imagination that keeps us young.

Which reminds me I have to leave and burn some skin on my keyboard. I need to edit a column and begin another. Cheers o' fellow word-bandier

Re: Duties of Wives!
from John Paul S: Ex-Member (deleted:braveheartjp) on Thu 09/07/09 16:51

God....like a pair of old fishwives !!!! hehe
Never mind you both cannae help it yer woman after aw !! lol
Aye an goan git sum wurk done an geez peace..

Re: Duties of Wives!
from JJ C: JJ's Highland Adventure (jolly_jj) photos on Thu 09/07/09 16:59

I'm a woman... I can multi-task. Oh the joys of broadband and multiple browsers.

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