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    How To Determin If Your Girl Friend Is A Succubus

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    Postings on this topic in the 'Love, Sex & Relationships: Tips and Advice' chat forum

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    How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from Amy J: Highland Honey misplaced in the States.. (lasswithclass) photos on Tue 26/01/10 01:04

    A succubus is defined as a demon from Hell who takes on the form of an enchantingly beautiful female. While succubi are considered rare in the world today, there have always been reports from victims of the succubus' spells.

    The best defense against a possession is preemptive one. This article teaches you how to identify a potential or current victim and ward off the trespassing demon.

    Instructions
    Things You'll Need:

    * A girlfriend (either your own or an unlucky friend's)

    1.
    Step 1

    Ask yourself the following questions:

    1. Are you currently dating the woman in question?
    2. Have you experienced any sudden changes in attitude, mood or personality?
    3. Have you spent considerably less time with your male friends recently?
    4. Do you feel as if you and your partner endure ridicule from your peers?
    5. Do your friends describe you as a bitch?
    6. Can you attribute a large number of your stress related issues to a specific date?
    6a. Is this date you and your partner's anniversary?
    7. Do you call your partner every night or almost every night or vice versa?
    8. Do you experience decreased interest in previously entertaining activities?
    9. Do you find yourself wishing you were with your partner all the time?
    10. Do you consider you partner your indefinite number one priority?
    11. Have you experienced alienation from old groups of friends, colleagues, etc?
    12. Do your peers behave strangely around your partner?
    13. Do you and your partner consider yourselves in love and against all odds?
    2.
    Step 2

    MAKE A DECISION.
    If you answered yes to 3 or more of the above questions, then you must seriously consider the possibility that you or your friend are victims.
    3.
    Step 3


    DETERMINE THE VALIDITY OR GRAVITY OF YOUR SITUATION.
    This usually involves either man-to-man talks with your male friends and/or a serious talk with your partner. Be sure and ask your girlfriend things like: "Are you actually a succubus in disguise?" Most women appreciate it when their partners openly discuss their concerns in a civilized way. Either way, you'll both be glad that you didn't start name-calling right off the bat.
    4.
    Step 4


    TEST THE WATERS.
    This step is usually noticeably difficult for most men once they have gotten this far. It can involve either the most or the least amount of work. A common method of testing the waters is to take a day or two off from seeing and communicating altogether with your partner. If during your absence, you receive a significant number of phonecalls, text messages, or visits from her, then she may be frustrated with losing control over her spells.

    The cunning man may also make well-placed hints about breaking up with his partner. If a succubus hears this, it will do everything in its power to avoid this outcome, likely revealing itself in the process.
    5.
    Step 5


    GAUGE HER REACTIONS.
    You may have noticed that steps 3 and 4 can both be used to gauge your situation. Use your own judgment however; extreme reactions often point to succubi in disguise, but a clever demon can hide its intentions and maintain full control simultaneously. If you detect any hints of neediness or frustration, it is advised that you move on to step 6.
    6.
    Step 6


    BANISH THE DEMON.
    If you've done your job well so far, your partner will be unaware that you have discovered their hellish background and will not be expecting any kind of attack.

    Many people believe that it is possible to banish a succubus using holy artifacts, prayers, or other pseudo-religious means. Research has shown us that these methods cannot be reliably depended upon. The only known way to banish any succubus, regardless of strength, is done by singing the Maureen McGovern classic "The Morning After" backwards in the presence of the succubi.

    Again, this can be done with as little or as much work as you feel is necessary to perform the rite. One popular method is to inform your partner that you will be singing a song in another language for her. Being unaware of the attack, most succubi will not even notice what you are attempting to do.
    7.
    Step 7

    CONCLUSION.
    Once the song is finished, your partner will either have been sucked back into the pits of Hell, or simply be convinced that you are the sweetest boyfriend in the world. By now you will have been made 100% sure whether you were a victim and effectively dealt with the situation in one move.

    You are also now prepared for any future attacks against yourself or your friends. Consider yourself fortunate, and celebrate with friends and family that the rest of the world can now expect great things from you throughout your long life.

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from James M: Monty Python's illegitimate child (airforcescot) photos on Tue 26/01/10 01:29

    lol

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from Liza W: Ex-Member (deleted:wannabescottish) on Tue 26/01/10 02:00

    I'm not enchantingly beautiful but...I might be a succubus! BAHAHAHAHA!

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from James M: Monty Python's illegitimate child (airforcescot) photos on Tue 26/01/10 02:13

    Yes u r! lol hahahahaha

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from Liza W: Ex-Member (deleted:wannabescottish) on Tue 26/01/10 02:58

    see...even James knows I'm a succibubaloo! lol

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from James M: Monty Python's illegitimate child (airforcescot) photos on Tue 26/01/10 04:25

    But she is enchantingly beautiful...dont let her fool ye!

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from James M: Monty Python's illegitimate child (airforcescot) photos on Tue 26/01/10 04:28

    If her lips r upon the 420 bus line...then she is no doubt a succ-ur-bus. Though why she would do such a bizzare thing is beyond this scotsters comprehension.

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from D S H: Ex-Member (deleted:dshamilton) member on Tue 26/01/10 05:43

    I sort of get it, but wonder why... what does 420 have to do with it?

    Look Morgan I would sing the song backwards for you, ya know, release you from the sucubi or whatever, it just sounds like too much work, ya know?

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succu
    from Ian L: Ex-Member (deleted:lionsoflisbon) member on Tue 26/01/10 11:22

    I absolutely refuse to say anything without a lawyer present !!
    I plead the 5th .... My lips are sealed .... You can't make me talk !!

    tick 1
     
    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from Liza W: Ex-Member (deleted:wannabescottish) on Tue 26/01/10 12:36

    awww James, always so nice!!!
    awww Sean, bless! but you're right, it is way tooooo much work!!
    Ian, stay away from lawyers!

    my work here is done! bye boys!! xxx

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from Amy J: Highland Honey misplaced in the States.. (lasswithclass) photos on Tue 26/01/10 13:27

    LOL He is more afraid of me than a LAWYER lol omg LOL...

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from Sandy B (sanbur) photos on Tue 26/01/10 14:22

    The above definition could apply to every woman I've met (apart from the enchantingly beautiful bit). Best to avoid them altogether.

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from Bill H: I'm the Damn Yank! (sheepwhisperer) photos on Tue 26/01/10 16:00

    Wow. Succubi must run in packs in my area! I usually get rid of them by coming home drunk after being out with my friends. Maybe my slurred speech sounds eerily like "the morning after" backwards and they are gone by morning.

    Re: How to determin if your Girl Friend is a succubus
    from Liza W: Ex-Member (deleted:wannabescottish) on Wed 27/01/10 01:04

    too right Sandy B !!!

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